epicrapbattlesofhistoryfandomcom-20200222-history
User blog:Beerman8299/Count Dracula vs. Count Von Count
Greetings heroes! If you saw my last two posts, you already know the following information, which means you can go ahead and skip right to the battle. If you haven't seen my last two posts, then I'll sum them up really quick. I finished writing this battle before ERB released Vlad the Impaler vs. Count Dracula. This means that I didn't take any inspiration from their battle in writing these lyrics, nor did they give me the idea to use Count Dracula. I just want to clarify that so nobody starts freaking out about stealing ideas from ERB. So, with that being said, here is the Halloween special for you guys. This rap battle is between one of the most popular and well-known horror movie icons and the title character of Bram Stoker's 1897 gothic novel, Dracula, Count Dracula, and the friendly, vampire-like muppet on Sesame Street, Count Von Count. The beat for this battle starts at 0:13. 'Battle' COUNT DRACULA VS. COUNT VON COUNT BEGIN! 'Count Von Count' 1 AH AH AH! 2 AH AH AH! 3 is for The Count to hit you with your blah blahblah! I am a prerequisite of math, you snack on people's tracheas. I count one true rapper in this tussle of Transylvania. All I need are religious symbols to make you scared of me. You're never going to wake up after I put you into a death sleep. Your second death was by way of vampire hunters - Skill Level: Amateur. I guess your weak defeat is why I prefer you in The Munsters. You won't be victorious, I won't let things go your way. Dracula will become the number one loser of the day. You're folklore, you're not historical. You come from the mind of Bram Stoker. Is that fog around you or just your lingering dead body odor? And I'll count slowly, slowly, slowly getting faster. As I count the bars I keep dropping that will end you in disaster. Even I can't keep up with all of your remakes. It appears your heart is not the only thing at stake. 'Count Dracula' I'm a night hunter, you're a Rainbow in the Dark. With my constant lust for blood, I'm an immortal great white shark. You're a cloth vampire, who wears cloth clothes. Which is made of which? Nobody knows. Listen to them, you used to haunt the dreams of the children in the night. You could hear their screams as they had nightmare frights. Now you're a friendly purple freak, immigrated from Romania. Can you spell OCD? Or even arithmomania? You're not tough, you're stuffed with fluff. With arms that ain't buff, I'm bouta snuff this cream puff. I am the Lord of horror up on the silver screen. I'm gonna rock and sock this sock puppet muppet back to Sesame Street. You only talk about winning, but you learn nothing from success. Are you teaching the children to count all of your girlfriends? You should learn to do division, because I'm ready to cut you in half. You're only able to do your segment because of that hand up your ass. 'Count Von Count' SILENCE! I'm giving my style a Transylvania Twist where you will be gone in a flash. I'm going to squash you down and serve you up as a Monster Mash. I'm sure many of the necks you bit would have given you an infection. You're never going to see moonlight again, like how you can't see your reflection. You foolishly left your abode, you are now The Count's Guest. Hunting down beautiful women to give them blood tests. Awarded an amulet. For what? Mediocre screams? Before I shine any brighter, don't forget your sunscreen. All of your actions only seem to bear malice. Let's see if you can rebound from this without Judas' Chalice. 'Count Dracula' 47 years and counting and you can't even learn calculus. It's not hard containing myself against this bipolar abacus. You can't kill me because I'm already dead. I'm offereing you up to lose, let's get this sacramental bread. Don't talk to me about screams, you're not even a real vampire. I'm the OG, dating all the way back to Vlad the Impaler. You don't have a neck I would sink my teeth into, I don't want to suck your blood. You're not even someone I would want to put my mouth above. Count me out of your monster-filled learning show scheme. You're a child's parody of Lugosi, I'm the true Spirit of Halloween. WHO WON? WHO'S NEXT? YOU DECIDE! Who won? Count Dracula Count Von Count Category:Blog posts